


How Does That Make You Feel?

by iambjo12



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 10:55:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16303835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iambjo12/pseuds/iambjo12
Summary: JJ and Emily have been ordered to attend therapy sessions together.





	How Does That Make You Feel?

“Hey, hey, no accusations!” Garcia called out to the two storming agents that had just left her lair of wisdomness.  

 

“Fine, I feel like you’re being a stubborn jackass!”

 

“That’s...almost better,” Garcia sighed, giving up and going back into her office, grumbling under her breath. 

 

“Well I feel like you’re deliberately trying to sabotage any effort on my part to make this work!”

 

“It won’t work Emily!  Not like this, it just can’t.”  JJ turned and went into her office, slamming the door behind her and Emily made no attempt to follow and continue the clusterfuck of a conversation.  She went down the stairs and huffed into her chair at her desk, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose. 

 

“Yo Prentiss, how does that make you feel?” Morgan chuckled. 

 

“Like you’re two seconds away from getting a file stuffed down your pants, asshole.”

 

“Okay, I deserved that, but come on and talk to me, what’s going on now?”

 

“She’s pissed that I don’t seem that invested in our therapy sessions,” Emily said. 

 

“Are you?”

 

“I go to them.”

 

“And?”

 

“And I answer the man’s damn questions to the best of my ability and I sit there and let her bitch about her feelings,” Emily replied. 

 

“But you don’t do any bitching, do you?”

 

“What’s there to bitch about?”

 

“That is something for you to figure out, open up and explain to the man in front of our beautiful media liaison who could make or break you here,” Morgan replied.  

 

“If we have to do this damn therapy thing then maybe I need to do some of it that’s not in front of JJ.”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>\m/<><><><><>

 

“So tell me about the blowout that happened earlier?” 

 

“It wasn’t a blowout.”

 

“Heated words were exchanged, I believe she referred to you as a stubborn jackass.  How did that make you feel?”

 

“I really hate that,” Emily replied with a malicious grin. 

 

“That she called you a stubborn jackass?”

 

“No, when you ask me how something makes me feel.”

 

“Is it the terminology or simply the fact that I am requesting that you get in touch with your feelings at all?”

 

“I don’t know,” Emily let out a sigh.  “Both I suppose.”

 

“I’m very happy that you’ve decided to take the time with me on your own.  It shows that you do in fact want to get something out of all of this instead of simply complying with the office’s decision.”

 

“What can I say, I guess I’m not always a stubborn jackass.”

 

“Did it hurt your feelings when she called you that?”

 

“No, I deserved it.”

 

“Be that as it might, that doesn’t mean that it didn’t get to you somehow.”

 

“No, it didn’t hurt my feelings.”

 

“What about the altercation did upset you?”

 

“Her walking away, leaving it unresolved.”

 

“Does she do this often?”

 

“How can she when it’s always me that walks away, moves to another country, dies for christ sake.”

 

“We can get into all of that more later.  Right now tell me how you felt when she walked away from you.”

 

“That’s the thing you see.”  Emily leaned back into the couch and grinned.  “I hated to see her go but I love to watch her leave.”

 

The therapist dropped his pen and closed his notebook.  He sat across from Emily, looking up at her. His mouth opened, then closed again.  

 

“I think that we’re going to need to meet as often as possible,” he finally replied. 

 

“I agree.”

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>\m/<><><><><>

 

“I can’t believe you went without me,” JJ said making her way through the bullpen with Emily beside her.  

 

“It’s not like I went to one of our appointments without you, I went on my own, for me.”

 

That stopped the blonde in tracks and she turned to face her fellow agent who had stopped as well. 

 

“But you hate therapy,” JJ said quietly.

 

“Yep, I do.  I just thought that there was some things that I needed to work out that would be better if I did it, in privacy,” Emily said looking into blue eyes that were full of emotions as JJ processed this new information.

 

“You use to be able to talk to me,” JJ replied.

 

“I know,” Emily replied giving the blonde a half smile as she caressed her hand down JJ’s arm.  “And I’m trying to get that back.”

 

“By talking to a stranger?”

 

“You’ve done nothing wrong in all of this.  You’re my rock and the only sounding board that I’ve had really.  Getting a different perspective of things is only going to strengthen my ability to come to you.  And he’s not a stranger anymore, we’ve had sessions with him for the last month.”

 

“I just want us to get back where we were before.”

 

“And I promise you that I am trying.”

 

“I’m sorry I called you a stubborn jackass.”

 

“Don’t be, I am sometimes.”  The women laughed as they made their way into the conference room.  

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>\m/<><><><><>

 

“I feel like you don’t trust my abilities as an agent.”

 

“How do you mean Agent Jareau?”

 

“She doesn’t… I feel like Emily doesn’t always let me do my job when we’re in the field together.”

 

“Like I hinder you?”

 

“Not exactly.  More like if we both could do something, you would prefer that it be you who does it.  Like you think that you can do it better or something.”

 

“Jayje, I never think that I’m better in the field than you are.  I would just rather have it be myself that takes the risks because I have less to lose.”

 

“How do you mean Agent Prentiss?”

 

“JJ has a family outside of these walls whereas I don’t, not really.”

 

“But what about your family inside these walls?  They have already lost you, I have lost you so many goddamn times.”

 

They sat on the couch and looked into each other’s eyes.

 

“Emily.”  The brunette tore her eyes away from JJ to look at the man sitting opposite of them, calling out to her.

 

“Don’t say it,” she gruffed in response.

 

“Well?”

 

“I will try to not be so controlling while we are in the field.”

 

“That wasn’t the implied question.”

 

She sighed.  

 

“It makes me feel like I need to do a better job of remembering that I have people who care for me and to not be such a bonehead and make impulsive, possibly life threatening decisions in or outside of work.”

 

“JJ, do you have anything to add?”

 

The blonde shook her head.  

 

“Alright then, your work permitted, we’ll meet back here next week.  Emily, still good for later?”

 

“Yeah,” she said standing up and walking out.  

 

“How do you feel about Emily seeing me on her own?”

 

“You have to understand that before all of the crap with Doyle, Emily use to come to me about anything.  I mean obviously not things like Doyle which she had to keep hidden, but everything else. I just want my friend back.  I know I have my coworker Agent Prentiss back, but I want my friend Emily as well.”

 

“Do you think it’s a possibility that there were some things that even at your closest with her, that Emily still kept from you?”

 

“Sure, I mean, of course.  But on a whole, I knew her and honestly, I don’t feel like I know her anymore.”

 

“A lot has happened to her, and to you as well.  There was a definite shift in your dynamic that we are working on to see if you may be close with this Emily, but you might have to accept the fact that the Emily you knew before is gone.  Whether or not you can have a deep friendship with this Emily is the question.”

 

“I don’t know this Emily.”

 

“But she knows you.”

 

“Does she though?”

 

The question was out of her mouth before she even realized and she stood up quickly. 

 

“Would you like to schedule some sessions without Emily being present?”

 

“No, I don’t think that’s necessary.”

 

“She’s trying you know.  For you, for herself.”

 

“I know,” JJ replied and walked out the door.  

 

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>\m/<><><><><>

 

“Can you honestly tell me that woman does not have a luscious backside?”

 

“The physical attributes of my patients is not something I am allowed to comment on Agent Prentiss.”

 

“Come on, you know how we have to do this whole thing if it’s going to work.”

 

“Yes, we pretend that we’re just friends hanging out.”

 

“Exactly, so?”

 

“I will comment on any backside you wish that does not seat itself on that couch.”

 

Emily laid back on said couch and sighed. 

 

“Fine, we’ll go back to me patient, you shrink.”

 

“What’s important here is that you find her backside to be…”

 

“Luscious.”

 

“Right.  I’m going to spare you with the feelings aspect of this observation of yours.”

 

“Much appreciated.”

 

“Instead, let’s discuss how you felt when you first met Agent Jareau.”

 

“It was a conflicting time in my life.  New career and adjusting to life outside of Interpol.”

 

“What was your first impression of her?”

 

<><><>\m/<><><>

 

“So what happened?”

 

“I let her go in on her own.”

 

“And then?”

 

“She was attacked.”

 

“The guy jumped me, it was fine.”

 

“You had to get stitches.”

 

“Like you’re one to talk.”

 

“I’m not the one wearing them now.”

 

“Why did you let Agent Jareau go in by herself?”

 

“Because she said she could handle it and I thought that I needed to prove to her that I respect her as an agent because of the issue she brought up last week.”

 

“Agent Jareau, do you still feel as though Agent Prentiss thinks less of you as an agent?”

 

“No, and I know that you respect my ability Emily.  It...meant a lot that you let me take point.”

 

“Big question time Emily.”

 

“Not now, please.  Later.”

 

“Don’t you think I have a right to know how you’re feeling about it?”

 

“Why do you wish to speak later about this?”

 

“Because I know that I will not be able to control the way in which I confess and blurt out things.”

 

“Only in regards to what happened today or other things as well?”

 

“Today mostly.  I can feel that boiling feeling that we’ve talked about it.”

 

“Talk to me damnit!”

 

“I think agent Prentiss may be right about this.”

 

“I don’t care, I need to know what is going on with us… with you.”

 

“How do you mean when you said, with us?”

 

“I didn’t mean to say that.”

 

“But yet you did, and it makes me wonder if you did say it because it was what you were thinking, despite not wishing to verbalize it.”

 

“Fine,” the blonde huffed.  “There has always been an ‘us’, at least to me.  I have always felt a very strong connection to Emily.”

 

“And you know that I feel it too JJ.”

 

“You use to,” JJ whispered as she looked down at the floor.  “Now I feel as though that connection has been...lacking.”

 

“Do you put the blame on Agent Prentiss for that?”

 

“No actually.  I think it started sometime around when…”  It was clear to the other two people in the room that there was going to be no forthcoming end to that sentence.

 

“Emily, when do you feel that the connection took a turn?”

 

The brunette’s jaw clenched before she sighed. 

 

“When she met Will.”

 

“Would you agree, Agent Jareau?”

 

“Maybe not so much as when him and I met but definitely after the pregnancy was announced.”

 

“What did hearing about JJ’s pregnancy mean to you Emily?”

 

“That they clearly had a future together.”

 

“And you no longer had a reason to hope for one with her?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Em?”

 

The brunette turned and looked into watery blue eyes.  They were silently asking her to finally let the truth out, begging her to for the first time actually say the words.  

 

“I love you, we both already know this.  I’ve accepted your marriage to Will and we moved on.  I still feel that connection that I always have and I see myself feeling it for the rest of my life.  I think that we just both have to work on strengthening that connection to a healthy working one instead of focusing on what could have beens or the negatives as much as we do.”

 

“I agree with Agent Prentiss.  You’ve chosen your life to be with your husband in a private setting.  Discussing any ‘what if’ scenarios is dangerous for Emily. It can fed into a delusion that is not healthy.”

 

“Yeah,” JJ sighed sitting back into the couch.  Her heart was heavy hearing Emily finally admitting what she always thought, in ways what she had always wanted to hear, just not like this.  Not with a therapist and a husband and child waiting for her at home.

 

<><><>\m/<><><>

 

“Agent Jareau, come on in.  You’ll find that this works the same as a regular session you’re used to.”

 

“Just without Em’s delightful colorful commentary.”

 

“Yes,” the man laughed out as he took his seat.  “Now, what would you like to discuss on your own?”

 

“Have you ever noticed Emily’s ass?”

 


End file.
